Don’t know if y’all knew how obsessed with smart phones I am. Well, I am. Here’s something I wrote about myself to try and get my hands on the new OnePlus 3.
In the immortal words of Lionel Richie “Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?” Let me answer that question for you “Yes.”
I love phones. I had a collection of smart phones on my wall in my apartment in Los Angeles before I moved back to San Francisco. I had all the Sidekicks and early Google phones including the Google I/O G1 phone. I got that baby when I attended the first Google I/O before they got too expensive and hard to get into. Did you know that the Google recruited Sidekick developers to make the first Android phone? I also had an array of all the iPhones up to iOS 5 including some interesting Shanzhai knock offs. I had this collection because I liked the way they looked in a display case and gave me an excuse to talk about the evolution of the smart phone. I’ve purchased all your OnePlus phones that have come out so far. In fact, I am using my OnePlus X to type in this form (no small feat on this tiny keyboard). Talk about a super fan, you would be hard pressed to find anyone as obsessed as I am with this stuff. I’m the super-er-est of all your fans.
I code Android apps. I have a five star reviewed app in the App Store right now. It’s not a great app, but I got my friends to review it so it’s up there with all 5 stars. That’s how good I am at getting people to talk about phones.
I am an international artists and techie, and people listen to me. I don’t blog that much, but I do have a large fan-base that extends from San Francisco to Beijing. I consort with celebrities, artists, and professors in America, China, and Europe. I always take the time to explain to people what the OnePlus is all about, even to non-geeks. On a recent trip to China for example, I got some colleagues interested in Cyanogen. You want someone to talk people’s ear about your phone? That’s me.
I am a super early adopter. I hear that’s a thing that new tech companies like you want. Well, I’m such an early adopter that the jacket I’m wearing I backed on Kickstarter and doesn’t even exist yet. On Back To The Future day last year I traveled back in time by flying from Shenzhen to Los Angeles (and boy were my arms tired! Believe it or not, that joke goes over well to many non-native English speakers). Currently I’m working with company that creates an educational electronic prototyping tool for education that’s not on the market yet. This last bit gets me in front of a lot of other smart early adopters as well.
None of the above brags is hyperbolic. I am offering to use these magical powers to promote your phone because I believe in your product. To pass up this opportunity to get your phone into the hands of such an awesome person would be folly. Please consider this when deciding who gets the 3.